Someday We'll Know
by kvm
Summary: Set 9 years in the future from now. It's a lit rj fic. It's a reflection on past mistakes and an opportunity to get a second chance that she never deserved. please r&r. chapter 5 finally added. long awaited, i know
1. i know you had to go away

Title: Someday We'll Know (inspired by the New Radicals song of the same name)  
  
Chapter: 1  
  
Author: Kate, a.k.a. katem-23  
  
Feedback: As always, it's thoroughly appreciated.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: No, shockingly enough I do not own Gilmore Girls, or any of the characters on the show. It's just my take on what could, (and I say "could" not "will" or "I want") happen. Oh I also don't own the New Radicals song "someday We'll Know, and no I'm not smart enough to have come up with any of the brilliant quotes I use, although they'll probably get credited within the story so no worries about that.  
  
Spoilers: Um, to be safe I'm saying everything up until the end of Season 2. After that it's all made up.  
  
Author's Notes: It's a future fic! Okay, just so you know I've never had a future fic that has worked out well, but oh well here goes nothing. I can't promise you what's going to happen or how long this will be. And yes, it is a lit fic. Oh, and when you're done please, please, please review.  
  
Summary: All you need to know is that it's 9 years from now, and the entire chapter is Rory's POV  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
I'm walking through the streets of Stars Hollow, remembering my life when I lived here. It's late, a time usually used for partying, not reflecting. But I crept away from the small gathering that mom had held at the inn in celebration of me getting my first real job, and finally being in the real world to do just that, reflect. I'm thinking of my life as it had been 9 years before.how living in the hamlet we like to call Stars Hollow, with all its ridiculous traditions and strange customs shaped me into the person I now am. How I'm not afraid of anything anymore.  
  
Nothing except the day When I'll have to see him again.  
  
I will never be prepared for that. Just like I will never forget the look of pain in his eyes. He once told me that I would never understand, and if I did, it wouldn't be for a long time. I didn't really ever figure it out, not until very recently. It was a cold night about three months ago and I was driving in my car, listening to the radio when it hit me. I finally realized exactly what he meant.  
  
I now realized that doing things for yourself instead of what others want you to do will make you way happier then doing what is expected. Pleasing other people is overrated. You should always put your own happiness over everything else. Not necessarily put yourself over others, but do what you want to do. It's your life, make your own decisions. Maybe if I had of done it then I wouldn't be so depressed now. It's amazing how much time changes some people, and how for others the effects are so mild you barely notice them.  
  
The last words he ever spoke to me were "Someday You'll Know". It really stuck with me. Probably because he was the only guy I ever loved like that.without restraint, without reason. Or maybe it stuck with me because it was a unique last line, usually it's just something like "I'll miss you" or "until we meet again", but it wasn't. Not that it wasn't expected that he'd say something like that. He always said things like that. Every word he ever uttered impacted me in a way that no one else will ever be able to touch, and thinking about how everything turned out still makes me feel so empty...like I don't have a heart.  
  
Every now and then I'll sneak somewhere where I can be alone to think about it. Sort of like what I'm doing now. I think about random things like, will I ever feel like that again? I still can't believe what I put him through.what I put myself through.  
  
Would he even remember me? Maybe that's my biggest fear. Bigger then just seeing him. I can picture it, he's walking down a street in a big city, his arm wrapped around some girl's waist and as we pass the flicker of recognition sparks in his eyes, but he ignores it and keeps walking, never turning back. And I keep walking (or maybe I stop, paralyzed with fear), and I have to live with the fact that he never looked back.  
  
The thought of that makes me shake. He said that he would never forget me, but many people have promised me many things that haven't been true over the years. Closure is one of those things that has always been important to me, and the one thing that I've never gotten from him. Maybe that's why he left like he did, to put me through the pain that I put him through, so that I'd never forget him. Maybe it was worth it. Maybe he was trying to teach me what my real priorities are, how to put things in perspective. Maybe.  
  
He was mature; grown up. He covered it well around others, but I could see it. He opened up for me. We had our own little world - it was our thing, no one else knew about it. He's the kind of guy that doesn't change much over time, he doesn't need to. He's the kind of person that parents look at and roll their eyes because they think that he knows nothing when really he knew more about life and living when he was seventeen then most adults do when they're seventy.  
  
I can't exactly pinpoint the day when it wrong. Maybe it was the day I kissed him. That was the day I finally admitted to myself that I needed him. Or maybe I had known it before that, when I went to see him in New York. But even then I still really didn't believe it, I was convinced that I missed him because we were friends and that was it. I figured I could come back and he would stay there and everything would be fine. I would get over anything I felt for him.  
  
But it hadn't worked that way. When I saw him standing by the water at Sookie's wedding I knew I was going to give in. He followed me. He ran after me, and that was important. That mattered. And then I did it, finally. It was something that our relationship had been heading toward for a long time, our first kiss. And then it happened and I didn't know what to do- I had a boyfriend after all, so kissing another guy probably wasn't the best choice I could have made. So I ran. I spent the summer in Washington, pretending nothing had happened and I came back and that was when everything got really bad.  
  
Dean broke up with me around October, there was so much drama going on and he couldn't handle it and keep up with school. We had been drifting apart for a long time anyhow, so by the time we finally broke up the gap between us was too big, we couldn't close it - even if we had wanted to. I couldn't define what was happening between me and Jess. I hadn't expected him to wait around for me forever but when I saw him with another girl I instantly went into crazed lunacy. He was just asking her for homework - I thought he was moving on. Then for a while he bounced from girl to girl, most of them staying as lust-driven friends, never hanging around for long. What he did with them I have no clue. Sometimes I think he just was with them to keep his mind off of me. Or to make me jealous - it worked.  
  
I was weak then, not like now. I couldn't admit to people that I had feelings for him. I was too worried about what they would think. And every day it nearly killed me. Maybe worse then him. Maybe that's why he left, so I would have a reason to blame him for the pain. He waited long enough though, I told him that I loved him. I did. I truly believe that I did. I still do, at least, I think I do. It's hard to love someone you haven't seen in 8 years. He's still Jess though. I know it because he'll always be Jess. Whether he's smoking, stealing, staging fake murders or getting an MBA.  
  
I remember when I finally told him that I loved him. It was right before graduation. He had made it, he was going to graduate, but then he just picked up and left town about an hour before the ceremony, no good-byes to anyone but Luke. I cried a lot then.  
  
His words seemed misplaced at the time, but that was only because they seemed like a goodbye and I couldn't figure out why he was saying goodbye to me. Maybe deep down, a part of me knew, he was different on that day. Normally when I saw him he had the same look on his face, like he was reading me, as if he knew what I was thinking. And he did it with a smirk. He knew it was pure torture for me to not be with him, but he was waiting for me to do something about it. I never did. That one day was different though. He dropped the act and let the two years of agony show through. It hurt me to look at him - knowing that I was the cause of distress upon his face. It was all because of me. And that is the look that I will never forget. Never.  
  
I'm on the bridge, sitting. I'm thinking about all the memories we had here. The lunches, the secret meetings.kisses that I never told a soul about. I sometimes wish my life were more like a TV show, or some romantic movie, so much less complicated. It took me this long to realize that life isn't like that. You don't usually get the happy ending you want. Sometimes it turns out that way - "right", I guess you could say, and if not "right" at least the way you want it to.but what are the chances of that? It took me so long to realize that all that time he had loved me every bit as much as I had loved him. It just turned out that because of my own naïvete that we never ended up together.  
  
Maybe it's good that we were never together then. I still needed to grow up and realize some things. I just wish I could get a second chance. But hindsight is a worthless ability. I also learned that there are some questions to which the answers will always be unknown. It was probably the biggest revelation of my entire life when I realized the answer to his parting words.he was the one for me.  
  
Now I know. 


	2. i died just a little

Title: Someday We'll Know (inspired by the New Radicals song of the same name)  
  
Chapter: 2  
  
Author: Kate, a.k.a. katem-23  
  
Feedback: As always, it's thoroughly appreciated.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: No, shockingly enough I do not own Gilmore Girls, or any of the characters on the show. It's just my take on what could, (and I say "could" not "will" or "I want") happen. Oh I also don't own the New Radicals song "someday We'll Know, and no I'm not smart enough to have come up with any of the brilliant quotes I use, although they'll probably get credited within the story so no worries about that.  
  
Spoilers: Um, to be safe I'm saying everything up until the end of Season 2. After that it's all made up.  
  
Author's Notes: It's a future fic! Okay, just so you know I've never had a future fic that has worked out well, but oh well here goes nothing. I can't promise you what's going to happen or how long this will be. But yes, it is a lit fic. And if you ask for a trory I might hurt you. -Just warning you ahead of time. Oh, and I'm dedicating this chapter to all the ladies (and boys) on the lit thread - you'll know the shout-out when you see it!  
  
Summary: All you need to know is that it's 9 years from now, and the entire chapter is Jess' POV.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Sometimes, I wonder if she ever figured it out. But then I remember that it's Rory Gilmore that I'm thinking about, so of course she figured it out. I just wonder how long it took her.  
  
I'm going to be obliged to say that she was my best friend. After all I lived here, in Stars Hollow, for almost two years and she was my only real friend. Of course, I had friends before her, from when I lived in the city. But they were just people I hung around with, not people who ever understood me. I may have thought they did at the time, but looking back on who I was - who I still am - I know they weren't truly my friends.  
  
I remember how much I changed in those two years. I guess she never would have noticed though. I was always generally the same around her. Her eyes didn't really open until her mom pointed it out to her. She pointed out that I, wasn't what changed me. That it was her who changed me. Not that I minded much, if I had stayed where I was before I knew her I would be in a very different place right now. I guess you could say she saved me.  
  
The real person that I am has never changed much. Just the way I look at the world, and how I approach it. She made me realize that I wanted to do something with my life - not just fuck around forever.  
  
It's funny actually. When I first arrived in Stars Hollow I didn't think I could be any closer to hell. But then I met her - Rory. She saw through the act. She saw nothing but who I was; who I am. She saw me. And for the first time in my entire life, I cared about something.  
  
I think I know why they call it falling in love. You don't really get a say in the matter you just.fall. Not that I had any problems with falling in love with her it was just that, she was so different from anything - and anyone - that I had ever known. Maybe that's why I fell so hard, so fast. And I did fall. I remember that it was instantaneous, I just can't remember the instant.  
  
I saw her picture- she was gorgeous, and she had those eyes. Those bright blue penetrating eyes that were so wide and open to the world, and you could stare at them forever and feel like you had accomplished something. I will never forget those eyes because I had never seen eyes that beautiful, and I doubt I ever will again. Then I met her, and she was just as sweet and innocent as she looked. And she read almost as much as me, which was quite remarkable to say the least, and I knew that I had finally found someone who could keep up to me. She could stun me with her literary views unlike any other. She was amazing. So many times we got together, and each time was special in it's own way. I remember each as if it was yesterday.  
  
Every time I took a step, she followed. I still believe the feelings were mutual the entire time - no, I know that they were mutual. Even if she wouldn't always admit it. I think we both finally realized that she had feelings for me after I left for the first time.  
  
Of course, I lasted for about a week before I had to give in and call her. And then she came. She came to see me. I know, I was shocked too. So I moved back. I figured that there was a reason for me to live there, well more then one, but there was finally a really big reason to live there. And then she kissed me. She did it, every time I made a move towards her she would do something to completely rock my world. She knocked me off my feet.  
  
It's hard to believe that I haven't seen her in eight years. When I close my eyes I can still see her face perfectly. I remember our conversations, our secret meetings that were rarely seen or known about by outsiders.  
  
When she was with Dean we either had to be completely silent about meeting, never telling a single person who, when or where. We would pass on the info to each other in the most unique of ways - I would write it on a napkin, she would trace out the letters in spilled coffee, we learned sign language.just some of the basics, but still - exotic. So we would either sneak off to be alone, or we would stay in the public eye and pretend to feel nothing but platonic feelings for each other. I hoped that it would end eventually, but we did it even after she and Dean broke up.  
  
Acting like I didn't have some deep feelings for that girl was probably the hardest part about the entire situation. Those times when we would be in the diner joking around at the counter and all I wanted to do was pull her over the tabletop, wrap my arms around her and kiss her so that we disappeared; so that we were all that mattered. But there were people around. So I couldn't.  
  
I would have to wait. Wait until everyone in town was asleep and we could go out somewhere. Or wait until we got the chance to sneak up to my apartment and read in private.well, we read most of the time.Or I would have to wait until one of those nights when I would climb into her bedroom through her window and end up sleeping on the floor, never letting go of her hand for an instant, until the break of dawn when I would sneak back out, leaving no one the wiser. All those times when we would meet on the bridge - our bridge - and stay wrapped in each other's arms while we bantered away about 'great literature' or movies, or something that we were just as passionate about.  
  
I avoided the subject as much as possible, but there were a few incidents when she brought up "us". That was hard for me too. It's hard to pretend that you heart isn't ripping in half, but I managed to pull it off for a long time - and keep my bad-ass routine in tact.  
  
I wanted her to be happy. That was really all I ever wanted. So I did what I could to make her happy. So I did what I could to make her happy. She wasn't ready to make us an "us", so we didn't.  
  
I'm still sort of confused as to why she was so scared. Being with me wouldn't have tarnished her reputation that much. Her mom and I were almost getting along by the end of that second year. Maybe she was just scared that if we were really together she'd do something she would regret. I think she thought that she wouldn't be able to control herself if we were "dating". But then it turned out that she couldn't control herself even when we weren't together, so there you have it.  
  
For some reason when it comes to our "relationship" - or whatever you want to call it - I use the word maybe a lot. Does she? Does she still wonder about everything? Obsess over every little detail? Maybe. Probably. I never wanted her to forget me so I never gave her closure - I just hope she doesn't resent it, or me.  
  
Am I scared to see her again? Hell yes. But I know it's coming. It's like one of those things that you just know are going to happen. You don't necessarily see it, but you can feel it. I'm extra careful with my calls and even more careful with visits. It doesn't help that Luke and Lorelai live together, but I haven't run into a serious problem yet.  
  
Of course there was that one time. Luke he didn't know that Rory was planning on coming home. He said it was a "surprise visit". So you can just imagine what happened when Rory picked up the phone when I was calling Luke for my bi-weekly update. I heard her voice and my heart nearly stopped. I swallowed hard, and I think at that point she figured out that it was me, because she dropped the phone. I hung up almost immediately. I didn't know what else to do.  
  
I've tried to forget that day but it's as impossible as trying to forget the day she kissed me for the first time, or the day she told me that she loved me.or even just trying to forget her. It's impossible.  
  
I wonder what she's like now. I mean, I get general information from Luke every now and then, but I sometimes wonder specifics. Does she still smile while she's reading? Does she still hug her pillow while she sleeps? Does she share her bed with someone?  
  
God I hope not. The latter makes me shake. Not that I'm actually naïve enough to think that she's waiting for me to walk back into her life and sweep her off her feet - I was never naïve enough to think that. It's just that I can't ever see her being with anyone else. No one but me. We were perfect together, she just didn't quite realize it at the time. I still love her every bit as much as I did when I was seventeen. Maybe more now. I'm sure she's grown up a lot; matured. Like cheese or a fine wine. She gets better with age.  
  
So here I am. Almost back to where I started when I was a teenager. Back to being depressed, lonely and out of luck. But at least now I've got something to look back on.even if it wasn't the happiest of endings, at least it was an ending. Sort of, I have a hard time believing that our story is over.I have a feeling there are still a few chapters that still have to be written. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. 


	3. and i feel it now

Title: Someday We'll Know (inspired by the New Radicals song of the same name)  
  
Chapter: 3  
  
Author: Kate, a.k.a. katem-23  
  
Feedback: As always, it's thoroughly appreciated.  
  
Rating: PG-13/R.hehehe. =)  
  
Disclaimer: No, shockingly enough I do not own Gilmore Girls, or any of the characters on the show. It's just my take on what could, (and I say "could" not "will" or "I want") happen. Oh I also don't own the New Radicals song "someday We'll Know, and no I'm not smart enough to have come up with any of the brilliant quotes I use, although they'll probably get credited within the story so no worries about that. Oh, and I don't own the song "Goodbye to you" by Michelle Branch (who is the lit-song queen by the way).  
  
Spoilers: Um, to be safe I'm saying everything up until the end of Season 2. After that it's all made up.  
  
Author's Notes: Aww, thank you guys so much for all of your nice reviews! You have no idea how touched I was reading some of them. I've never been described as a 'brilliant' writer before, I just do my best and I'm glad you guys like it. Oh, and one last thing. This chapter, it hasn't been edited yet, so if it sucks or there's lots of mistakes you have my apologies. =)  
  
Summary: Okay, so for this chapter we are changing paces a little bit. No longer are we reflecting, uh-uh. This is flashback chapter. So it's going to be written like a transcript, only instead of being all from one episode it's just going to be random important scenes from Rory and Jess' history. I skip all of season 2, so you're just going to imagine that this is picking it up at season 3 okay?  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[Late SUMMER, afternoon.]  
  
[Open on The Door to LUKE and JESS' apartment. A hand reached out and knocks on the door. Someone calls out from inside and the camera switches and focuses on RORY who is entering the apartment, looking skeptical. She looks around the apartment for a moment before spotting JESS in a room on a bed holding a book. JESS looks up and sees her, then looks back down at his book.]  
  
JESS: Hey  
  
[RORY enters the room]  
  
RORY: Hey.  
  
JESS: .How's it goin'?  
  
RORY: Good.you?  
  
JESS: Good.  
  
RORY: I..um, I.  
  
JESS: How was your trip?  
  
RORY: It was good  
  
JESS: That's good.  
  
RORY: So this is your room huh? It's all done?  
  
JESS: That's what it looks like.  
  
RORY: Look Jess, about the .  
  
[JESS looks up intently, closing his book with a look of sarcasm on his face]  
  
JESS: kiss?  
  
RORY: Um, yeah.  
  
JESS: Let me guess.It meant nothing? You love Dean? We're just 'friends'? Which one are you going to use Rory?  
  
RORY: Actually, I was going with, "It was a complete accident and I'm sorry" but those were all very good guesses.  
  
JESS: Well thanks I'll remember that.  
  
RORY: [after a moment]Did I surprise you?  
  
JESS: To say the least.  
  
RORY: Oh. I'm sorry.  
  
JESS: Not all surprises are bad.  
  
RORY: What does that mean?  
  
JESS: What do you think it means?  
  
RORY: God Jess, does everything have to be so complicated with you?  
  
JESS: What do you mean?  
  
RORY: I mean your whole 'I say what sounds mysterious, not what I mean' attitude, it really is a pain in my ass. Why don't you ever say what you mean? Or what you feel?  
  
JESS: Wow. Did you just hear what you said?  
  
RORY: What's that supposed to mean?  
  
JESS: It means, maybe you should take your own advice.  
  
RORY: I do say what I feel  
  
JESS: uh-huh [JESS picks up his book]  
  
RORY: I do!  
  
JESS: Then why are you standing there telling me that kissing me was an accident?  
  
RORY: Because it was!  
  
JESS: No offence Rory, but have you ever heard the phrase 'Actions speak louder than words?'  
  
RORY: Yes, but.  
  
JESS: Why are you here?  
  
RORY: Because we're friends and I haven't seen you in six weeks and.  
  
JESS: And you could have waited three more hours for when my shift starts.  
  
RORY: Just because I'm-  
  
JESS: -Rory, try looking at it from my perspective. We become friends, I move away, you follow me, I move back, and you kiss me. The you go away on a trip and within three hours of being home you're already sneaking up here to see me. Ten bucks no one knows you're here.  
  
RORY: You owe me ten bucks. I asked Luke where I could find you.  
  
JESS: how about I lend you one of my books that you don't own and we call it even?  
  
RORY: Fine.  
  
JESS: do you understand where I'm coming from?  
  
RORY: Do you understand how confused I am?  
  
JESS: I think I might.  
  
RORY: Well, then you tell me what you would say. Jess I kissed you. I have a boyfriend and I kissed you. Do you have any idea what Dean is going to say when he finds out?  
  
JESS: So don't tell him  
  
RORY: What?  
  
JESS: I 'didn't say a word' so it's not like anyone knows. Just don't tell him,  
  
RORY: That would be lying.  
  
JESS: Nope. It would be withholding information. There's a difference.  
  
RORY: I can't just.  
  
JESS: You can just. Wait to tell him at least. Figure things out. If you need me, I'll be around.  
  
RORY: Thanks [She turns to leave]  
  
JESS: And Rory, [She turns back] Try not to take too long ok?  
  
RORY: [she smiled faintly] Okay  
  
~*~*~*~ [SUMMER; Afternoon] [Open in Jess with his back to the door in the diner. RORY is sitting at one of the tables talking with her mom. RORY gets up and walks over to the counter, JESS turns around and surprised by her being there spills coffee on the counter]  
  
RORY: That was smooth.  
  
JESS: [nodding head and pursing lips] Sure was.  
  
RORY: Do you want some help?  
  
JESS: Sure, [he hands her a cloth and they start wiping up the coffee]  
  
RORY: So, what are you doing today?  
  
JESS: Don't know yet. Maybe I'll jack a bank a few towns over, or I'll go totally crazy and do something preposterous like.read by the lake - which you know, always looks suspicious.  
  
RORY: Oh of course. [she laughs and he smiles at her. Their eyes lock momentarily and as they aren't paying attention their hands collide. At the touch RORY jumps, and breaks the gaze. After a minute's pause, she leans in and cautiously whispers] So, this lake.do you have directions?  
  
JESS: [grabs a napkin and writes the words 'picnic basket', then slides the napkin towards  
  
RORY who pretends to use it to wipe up coffee. She reads it and traces the letter "OK" into the remaining spilled coffee.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[FALL. NIGHT, 9 or 10 pm.] [RORY is walking into the diner, alone this time, JESS is putting chairs on one of the tables.]  
  
JESS: Hey, what's up?  
  
RORY: Not much. I was bored.  
  
JESS: And I'm your official solution to boredom?  
  
RORY: Well, it was either you or talk to Lane on the phone about how her mom wont let her leave the house before ten a.m.  
  
JESS: So you chose me over Lane?  
  
RORY: Well.uh, no, not exactly.  
  
JESS: Hmm. You do realize that you have a boyfriend.  
  
RORY: Yes, but he is working tonight.  
  
JESS: Well, I'm sure his work is much more exciting than mine. He's got all that shelving, and bagging and .what exactly does he do?  
  
RORY: I don't really know. I've never really just sat there and watched him work before.  
  
JESS: But you're here watching me work  
  
RORY: Technically yes.  
  
JESS: Wow. I feel privileged.  
  
RORY: Yes, well, you should. [she sits down on a chair and pulls up her legs]  
  
[JESS raises his eyebrows and lets out a small laugh. Then he leans down and whispers in her ear]  
  
JESS: I've been meaning to ask you.  
  
RORY: Yes?  
  
JESS: Have you read 'Blindness' yet? [camera fade out]  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[FALL. DEAN is sweeping the street in front of Doosie's market. JESS is about to walk into the store when DEAN stands in front of him. Unbeknown to either boy, RORY is watching the confrontation, from about 100 yards away]  
  
JESS: Can I help you?  
  
DEAN: What's with you and my girlfriend?  
  
JESS: Dude, I have no clue what you are talking about. If you mean 'why am I friends with Rory?' then I can answer that. But you seriously need to chill in the freak-out department, and start trusting her. She's a good girl, don't worry. We haven't jumped into bed together just yet.  
  
DEAN: Why do you always have to be such a jerk?  
  
JESS: Why can't you stop riding my ass. Just leave me alone. You don't need to be involved in my life.  
  
DEAN: Well, when you hit on my girlfriend you really give me no choice.  
  
JESS: I don't hit on your girlfriend. I think you just need to back the hell off.  
  
DEAN: Fine whatever. Just get out of my sight.  
  
JESS: Gladly. [walks into the market]  
  
[RORY walks up to DEAN as JESS is leaving. This time as RORY and DEAN talk, JESS watches from inside.]  
  
RORY: What was that?  
  
DEAN: [looks up and sees RORY] Rory. Hey, I didn't know you were.  
  
RORY: What was that?  
  
DEAN: What?  
  
RORY: You and Jess, or have you forgotten already?  
  
DEAN: We were talking.  
  
RORY: You were being an ass.  
  
DEAN: Why are you defending him to me?  
  
RORY: Because we're friends, and you were being an ass.  
  
DEAN: Well, it's good to know where I sit on your priorities list.  
  
RORY: Don't do that.  
  
DEAN: Do what?  
  
RORY: Turn it around and pin it on me. This wasn't my fault.  
  
DEAN: No. You're right, This wasn't your fault. But you leading me on, you ignoring me to spend time with Jess, or anyone else for that matter. You're just.we're not.  
  
RORY: Not what?  
  
DEAN: [Calming down] We're not together anymore Rory. We're not. We haven't been for a long time. We've drifted too far apart. And I don't think that .I don't think that we should see each other anymore.  
  
RORY: [closes her eyes for a split second. Then looks up at Dean, and almost sees him in a whole new light.] I think that you're right.  
  
DEAN: You do?  
  
RORY: Yes.  
  
DEAN: [slightly surprised] So.it's over?  
  
RORY: It's over.  
  
[DEAN shakes his head and then starts sweeping again. RORY turns and walks towards her house. JESS who has been watching the whole time watches her until she's out of sight and then walks away.]  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[That night] [RORY is lying in bed reading. Her window is open and there's wind blowing the curtains. Suddenly JESS climbs through the window and is lying on the floor. At first RORY practically jumps out of bed, but after seeing it's him she calms down - a little.]  
  
RORY: Jess?  
  
JESS: Hey.  
  
RORY: What are you doing here?  
  
JESS: You know, I was in the neighbourhood, thought I'd drop in and say hi to my favourite dumpee.  
  
RORY: you heard?  
  
JESS: I saw  
  
RORY: Oh.  
  
JESS: look, if it had anything to do with me.I'm really sorry ok? I never meant to actually get in between you two, it's just that.  
  
RORY: I know.  
  
JESS: Yeah.so.what you reading?  
  
RORY: [looks relieved at the change of topic] Well, I was reading War & Peace, but I guess I'm not anymore.  
  
JESS: Oh, don't stop on account of me. I'll just sit.  
  
RORY: And do what?  
  
JESS: [grabs a book off her dresser, then a pillow off her chair, then lies down on the floor and starts to read.] This  
  
[RORY laughs and continues reading.] [After a while JESS glances up and sees that RORY has stopped reading and is staring into space.]  
  
JESS: What are you thinking about?  
  
RORY: Dean.  
  
JESS: Oh.[he goes back to his reading]  
  
RORY: I'll miss him.  
  
JESS: I'm sure you will. I mean, after all, you did love the guy. [he looks up at her again]  
  
RORY: Yeah. But by the end he was more like a brother to me.all the passion was gone.  
  
JESS: Passion usually doesn't die.  
  
RORY: I'm not completely sure we ever had it. [her eyes well up with tears, and JESS drops his book and pulls himself closer to her bedside, he grabs her hand and kisses it]  
  
JESS: It's okay. Don't worry about it.  
  
RORY: I remember I got the tingles.you know, I loved him.I really did. It just.fell apart.  
  
JESS: It's okay, it'll all be okay. [She leans back and turns off the light. JESS lies back too, but holds onto her hand.]  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[morning] [RORY is still asleep. The door to her room opens and LORELAI bursts in]  
  
LORELAI: Rory?!  
  
RORY: Mom? MOM!  
  
LORELAI: What? [RORY is looking around the room for JESS but he's nowhere in sight. The pillow is back on the chair and the book is back on the dresser.]  
  
RORY: Uh, nothing.nevermind.  
  
LORELAI: Are you okay? I mean, you just broke up with your first boyfriend.again. [LORELAI looks puzzled momentarily] Uh, I , yeah. Do you need to talk?  
  
RORY: [smiles] No thank-you. I'm fine.  
  
LORELAI: You're sure?  
  
RORY: Positive.  
  
LORELAI: so we can get coffee?  
  
RORY: Yep  
  
LORELAI: From Luke's?  
  
RORY: Of course.  
  
LORELAI: .So I hear Jess was at the scene of the break-up yesterday.  
  
RORY: That he was.  
  
LORELAI: Was he by any chance, the cause of the break up?  
  
RORY: Nope  
  
LORELAI: You're being very vague.  
  
RORY: You're being very nosey.  
  
LORELAI: Well is it my fault that I care enough about my daughter to want to know what's going on in her life. Sorry if I don't want you running around with the diner punk. Next thing you know he'll be sleeping with you.  
  
RORY: [eyes widen slightly, but she shakes it off on a good guess] Stop it. Jess and I are just friends okay? That's the end of this discussion.  
  
LORELAI: Fine.  
  
RORY: Now can we please go get some coffee?  
  
LORELAI: [grumbling] Yeah, I guess.  
  
~*~*~*~ [NOVEMBER, snow covers the ground lightly, mid-afternoon] [RORY is sitting in the diner, which is near-empty, and JESS is serving some tourist coffee. As he walks away RORY watches as she inspects his butt. She giggles and then motions for him to come over.]  
  
JESS: [motions towards her with his head] Hey  
  
RORY: Hey. What ya doing?  
  
JESS: Not much.you want to do something?  
  
RORY: [shrugs] Sure. Where?  
  
JESS: We could read upstairs.I've got music too.  
  
RORY: talk about bribery. You know me too well.  
  
JESS: [lifts his eyebrows and smirks] Don't I just?  
  
[The two go upstairs. But before RORY ascends the stairs she quickly does a sweep of the room to make sure no one sees. After making it upstairs the two quickly settle in JESS' room. He walks over to his CD player and puts on his Hives CD. RORY grabs a book off the shelf and lies down on his bed. JESS looks at the girl who has just made herself comfortable on his bed, and after grabbing a book settles for the floor beside the bed.]  
  
[After reading for over an hour RORY looks at her watch, and her eyes grow wide]  
  
JESS: You okay?  
  
RORY: Yeah.it's just.  
  
JESS: What?  
  
RORY: The dinner rush will be downstairs now.I can't get out.  
  
JESS: Hmm.I have my ways.[he grins devilishly]  
  
RORY: What's that supposed to mean?  
  
JESS: Follow me.  
  
RORY: [follows JESS out of the room, but stops at the door] Jess?  
  
JESS: Yeah?  
  
RORY: I had fun.  
  
JESS: You don't usually?  
  
RORY: No, I mean, we just sat there and listened to music and read, and it didn't matter if we talked because we were just.comfortable. It was really nice.  
  
JESS: You , [he tilts his head sideways] are welcome. Come on, let's get out of here.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[WINTER. Night.] [ RORY is walking down the main street of Stars Hollow by herself. She sits in the gazebo, pulls out a book and starts reading. Moments later she gets hit with a snowball. She looks up laughing, and searches the night for the culprit. She climbs over the railing and hides behind a bush. She's laughing to herself when she gets hit in the back with another snowball. Before she has time to turn around JESS has already grabbed her from behind. His warm breath sends obvious chills down her back, and she looks momentarily consumed.]  
  
JESS: [whispers] the trick is to never let the enemy catch sight of you.[his voice fades as his lips inch closer towards hers]  
  
RORY: [whispers, while leaning in] My mother always told me.the best offence is a good defense. [at the last second before their lips touch she turns around and takes off, running into the street. After staring after her for a moment JESS takes off after her. Once on the street he discovers that she is now out of sight. He stops to catch his breath and gets hit by a snowball. He lets out a laugh and looks around. RORY steps out from behind a snow bank. He spots her and walks towards her.]  
  
JESS: You got me back  
  
RORY: [smiling widely] I most certainly did. [JESS moves towards her, an evil smirk playing on his lips and a devilish look in his eyes. RORY begins to get intrigued and a little bit worried so she begins to back up.] What are you- [JESS pounces on her, causing her to fall backwards into the snow bank.] Not fair! Now I'm covered in snow! You had an unfair advantage there buddy.  
  
JESS: Huh, crappy deal?  
  
RORY: I'd say so [suddenly a flicker of devilry passes across her face, and she grabs JESS' ankles, pulling him into the snow bank with her. They are both laughing so hard they don't realize the closeness of their positions. JESS stops laughing and grazes her cheek with his hand, removing a near- invisible snowflake. His hand breezes over her hair and he pushes her back, so that she is lying back on the snow bank. He leans forward and gently kisses her. RORY wraps her arms around his neck and camera fades out on them kissing]  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[It's really early, the sun has yet to fully rise, and it is still WINTER.] [JESS and RORY are sitting on the bridge wrapped in a blanket reading different books. JESS is turning the page of his book but RORY stops him]  
  
RORY: What are you doing?  
  
JESS: turning the page, what does it look like?  
  
RORY: But I was reading that.  
  
JESS: You have your own book  
  
RORY: I know, but yours seemed more interesting.  
  
JESS: Right. Because you haven't read all of Salinger's books fifty times.  
  
RORY: Oh whatever. Maybe I'm just not in the mood for 'Atlas Shrugged' right now ok?  
  
JESS: Are you feeling okay? Rory not being in the mood for Ayn Rand.hmm.must be some sort of a miracle.  
  
RORY: Jess.[a pained expression crosses her face]  
  
JESS: [suddenly realizing that something is wrong] What? What's wrong?  
  
RORY: Do you ever.do you ever think about us?  
  
JESS: What do you mean? Do you mean an "us" in a "we're friends" kind of way, or an "us" as in very good friends who happen to share the joy of making out together.or do you mean the big "us".  
  
RORY: I mean.do you want us to become .the big "us".  
  
JESS: [Pretending to be unmoved by the question] I don't really like to think about it. What do you think?  
  
RORY: I don't know.I mean, I think about it.but I'm not sure that I could.be with you.  
  
JESS: [masks the pain that is searing through his heart after hearing that] Okay.  
  
RORY: That's okay?  
  
JESS: [swallows] Of course.  
  
RORY: You don't want an explanation?  
  
JESS: I think I already know it do I not?  
  
RORY: Probably, it's just-  
  
JESS: - it's just you don't want to stand up to people, because you, like so many others in the world care way too much about what others think of you.  
  
RORY: I-  
  
JESS: -I honestly thought that you would be different, but I guess I was just expecting way more.  
  
RORY: Jess!  
  
JESS: What?!  
  
RORY: [She kisses him] Shut up. I meant, I'm not sure I'm ready to tell people that.we're.more then.  
  
JESS: Friends?  
  
RORY: Yeah.  
  
JESS: Okay, whatever. I'll see you later.  
  
[JESS gets up and leaves. RORY sits on the bridge looking after him thoughtfully]  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[It's later that same day, only now it's night.]  
  
[RORY is in bed, but when she hears the familiar tapping on her window she goes to it and opens it reluctantly. She looks directly at JESS]  
  
RORY: I thought you were mad at me.  
  
[JESS climbs in the window, and putting his hands behind her head kisses her passionately. After a few moments they break apart and he nods.]  
  
JESS: Yeah, well, I got over it.  
  
RORY; [stunned] Um...that's uh, good.  
  
JESS: So what are we reading tonight?  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[It's early morning. LUKE is asleep in the diner, JESS tries to sneak in but is unsuccessful, as he rouses LUKE]  
  
LUKE: It was thoughtful of you to call.  
  
JESS: Yeah.well.  
  
LUKE: Look, I'm sick and tired of you staying out all night ok? I never know where you are - you could be dead for all I know - and it just isn't happening anymore.where were you?  
  
JESS: It doesn't matter  
  
LUKE: Honestly, where were you?  
  
JESS: Look, it's nice of you to care but it really doesn't concern you. [he starts to leave]  
  
LUKE: Does it concern Rory? [at the drop of her name JESS turns around]  
  
JESS: Excuse me?  
  
LUKE: Were you with Rory?  
  
JESS: Why does that matter?  
  
LUKE: [getting aggressive] answer the question Jess  
  
JESS: Maybe I was.but why does it matter?  
  
LUKE: I don't want you screwing her up Jess, I've told you to stay away from her! I don't want you to hurt her!  
  
JESS: I don't need this [starts to leave again]  
  
LUKE: [grabs a hold of JESS' shirt] I'm not kidding about this one, you screw her up - you're in trouble.  
  
JESS: [shakes LUKE off, and turns to face him] Why would I hurt her Luke? That's the last thing I would ever do. You want to know why? Because I love her, okay? I. Love. Her. [JESS gets a shocked expression after saying what he just said, and most of all because he opened up to LUKE of all people]  
  
LUKE: [completely floored] You do?  
  
JESS: [after a moments pause] Yeah.I guess I do [smiles]  
  
LUKE: Well.okay then. Welcome to the club.  
  
JESS: [smiles knowingly] Look.Luke, I'm sorry.  
  
LUKE: [looks skeptical] for what?  
  
JESS: for being a pain in the ass. It's not easy being me, but you didn't deserve.  
  
LUKE: It's okay  
  
JESS: Yeah?  
  
LUKE: Yeah.so.[looks at JESS] you want to hold hands and skip now?  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[SPRING. Afternoon. Diner.]  
  
[LORELAI and RORY are drinking coffee and talking at one of the tables. JESS brings more coffee over to them and eyes RORY carefully, oblivious to her mother's eyes]  
  
LORELAI: So.Jess, heard from any colleges yet?  
  
JESS: Well.unfortunately both MIT and Harvard accepted me, so now I'm just waiting for my full scholarship from Yale to come in the mail before I make a final decision.  
  
LORELAI: Oh. So you didn't apply then?  
  
JESS: [looks away momentarily, then at RORY] actually.I did.  
  
LORELAI/RORY: [shocked] You did?  
  
RORY: Where?  
  
JESS: Pepperdine, USC, and .what's with that look?  
  
RORY: Nothing, it's just those are west-coast schools.  
  
JESS: Really? I had no idea, hmm, maybe next time I'll pull out an atlas before I apply to college.oh well.  
  
RORY: Why do you want to go out west?  
  
JESS: Change of pace.I've never lived out there before.I also applied to NYU and Columbia, although I doubt I'll get into either. Oh and this university in Canada or something.but I'm not sure I'd want to go there - too cold. Plus, I hear they actually eat beaver tails. Weirdoes.  
  
LORELAI: .right. You do know that we live in Stars Hollow right?  
  
JESS: [laughs] I guess you're right.  
  
[RORY is smiling coyly at JESS and he half-smiles back at her. LORELAI watched and makes a mental note of it]  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[It's later the same day] [LORELAI and RORY are walking into the house]  
  
LORELAI: ok...so spill  
  
RORY: Spill? There's nothing to spill about.  
  
LORELAI: you.jess.the flirty eyes. Oh yes, I saw it all.  
  
RORY: there was nothing to see!  
  
LORELAI: Oh there most definitely was. Lots to see there. A whole lot.it was like the Harry Potter of diner waiting. Uh-huh all that information from that big book shoved into a short expanse of time that didn't do the book justice and was way too long to even consider watching in the theatre. Because then you get the backache from keeping your feet on the chair in front of you, 'cause it's not like anyone could possibly sit straight for three hours, I mean that's just crazy and.[RORY catches her gaze]. you and jess right.  
  
RORY: you been waiting to get that out or something? Besides the first Harry Potter book wasn't that long. Highly enjoyable, yet highly overrated. It's the classics that kids should really care about.  
  
LORELAI: Yes, well, not everyone is prepared to read 'Wuthering Heights' at the age of eight.  
  
RORY: What can I say? I was mature for my age!  
  
LORELAI: that's true.stop distracting my thinking pattern! You know how easy it is.you need to stop.  
  
RORY: Sorry.so are we going to rent a movie tonight?  
  
LORELAI: Stop it. So, you and Jess.what's going on?  
  
RORY: Nothing.it's just me and then Jess. No me and Jess. It's not an "us"  
  
LORELAI: Not an "us"?  
  
RORY: Nope, there is no "us"  
  
LORELAI: Well, that's a relief, 'cause I'd hate to have to put you on the pill.we don't want any more mischievous diner boys running around this town do we?  
  
RORY: Mom?  
  
LORELAI: Right. Well, I'm glad you aren't dating. But he has changed.  
  
RORY: What do you mean?  
  
LORELAI: I mean, you changed him.  
  
RORY: How?  
  
LORELAI: He apologized to Luke  
  
RORY: When? For What?  
  
LORELAI: I'm not sure.I think it was, and I quote "For being a pain in the ass"  
  
RORY: Wow.  
  
LORELAI: It was all you.  
  
RORY: .[smiles].no, he did it on his own.he'll just never know it.  
  
LORELAI: You care about him  
  
RORY: Yes, I do.  
  
LORELAI: A lot.  
  
RORY: [ hesitant ] yeah.  
  
LORELAI: Hun, you can tell me.what is it?  
  
RORY: I don't really know.he makes me.I feel different around him. Special. He makes me feel, indescribable - I've never felt like this before. Not with Dean.or any one. Ever. I just.  
  
[LORELAI knits her eyebrows and gives her daughter a reassuring smile, telling her to continue]  
  
RORY: . I think I'm in love with him.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[SUMMER. Night. The bridge]  
  
[RORY is walking onto the bridge where JESS is standing.]  
  
RORY: Have you ever noticed that this bridge is like 'our spot'  
  
JESS: Sure have. [ he pulls her into his arms]  
  
RORY: So.I hear you had a talk with Luke a few weeks ago.  
  
JESS: Yeah.I told him a few things.  
  
RORY: I heard.  
  
JESS: [looking worried] What exactly did you hear?  
  
RORY: that you apologized for being a pain in the ass.  
  
JESS: [relieved] oh, that's it?  
  
RORY: Yeah.why? Did you tell him something else? Ooh, is it juicy?  
  
JESS: [starting to smile] A little  
  
RORY: What was it  
  
JESS: [leans in and kisses her, then his smile drops.] I told him that I'm in love with you.  
  
[RORY looks shocked, then scared. Tears well up in her eyes and she turns around and runs off the bridge, leaving JESS standing on the bridge looking up at the sky questioningly.]  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[It's the same night.about two hours later.] [JESS is climbing in through the window. RORY barely casts a glance at him]  
  
JESS: so I take it you're still mad at me? Or is that even it?  
  
RORY: [says nothing]  
  
JESS: I'm sorry okay? [she doesn't move. He sit on her bed.] Look, I'm really sorry ok? For the last time. Would you just stop being so damn stubborn. [she looks up at him]  
  
RORY: why would you say that?  
  
JESS: I don't know.it just slipped out I guess.  
  
RORY: did you mean it?  
  
JESS: have I ever lied to you?  
  
RORY: No. it's just.  
  
JESS: you're scared?  
  
RORY: Yes.  
  
JESS: And why's that?  
  
RORY: because I'm scared of what I'm going to do  
  
JESS: [looks confused] When?  
  
RORY: now. [she leans in and kisses him. He responds by kissing her back. She brings him back so that he's lying on top of her on the bed]  
  
JESS: You do realize this is a fairly compromising position? [ he's laughing but she is giving him a serious look, which causes him to stop] What?  
  
RORY: I love you too.  
  
JESS: [studies her face for a moment and quickly grasps her lips with his own. He pauses momentarily] Did you mean it?  
  
RORY: Don't I look trustworthy?  
  
JESS: [he smirks] Maybe [She kisses him again. This time she runs her hands down his body and feels for the edge of his shirt. After finding it, she pulls it over his head, causing JESS to stop and think for a moment] Woah. What are you doing?  
  
RORY: I love you.  
  
JESS: you mentioned that.  
  
RORY: I'm ready.  
  
JESS: What?! For what?  
  
RORY: Shut up, just because my mom isn't home doesn't mean you can yell.do you want Babette to know you were here?  
  
JESS: No  
  
RORY: Then shut up. [ she kisses him again, this time flipping him over so that he was lying with his back to the bed.]  
  
JESS: Are you sure?  
  
RORY: [lifts her shirt over her head] I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life.  
  
JESS: [looks into her eyes searching for a hint of doubt] Are you sure- sure?  
  
RORY: [leans in and kisses him softly, then pulls away and returns his stare] Yes.  
  
[JESS pulls RORY down on top of him. Camera fades out]  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[It's morning. The sun is rising. JESS opens his eyes and looks down at RORY's sleeping figure]  
  
JESS: shit.  
  
[He climbs out of bed (off-screen) and pulls on his jeans from the night before, quickly grabs the rest of his stuff and heads towards the window. He casts a regretful glance back at RORY before jumping out the window]  
  
[As his figure disappears out the window RORY opens her eyes and looks around the room, then she starts to cry uncontrollably]  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[same morning]  
  
[RORY walks into the diner. It's empty, because it hasn't actually opened yet. JESS is wiping down a table. LUKE walks out of the back, but after seeing the look on RORY's face he goes upstairs.]  
  
RORY: Why did you leave this morning?  
  
JESS: I always leave.  
  
RORY: Yeah.but this wasn't 'always'. This was different.  
  
JESS: Did you want your mom to walk in on us together?  
  
RORY: I could care less right about now. I wanted to talk to you.  
  
JESS: Well, you can talk now.  
  
RORY: Why are you being like this?  
  
JESS: Because, I don't want you to be mad at me  
  
[RORY's face softens and she walks towards him. She puts her hand on his shoulder and he turns his head away from her]  
  
RORY: How could I possibly be mad at you?  
  
JESS: I should have, I don't know.we shouldn't have.  
  
[RORY looks taken aback]  
  
RORY: You think it was a mistake?  
  
JESS: No. But you probably do.  
  
RORY: Jess.how can you seriously think that? [tears begin to well up in her eyes]  
  
[JESS looks like he's fighting the urge to wrap his arms around her. He looks like he's on the verge of tears, and a pained look crosses his face, he keeps his head turned away from her.]  
  
JESS: I'll see you at grad okay?  
  
[RORY shakes her head]  
  
RORY: You can't get rid of me that easily just because you think-  
  
JESS: -Stop  
  
RORY: No, just because you are scared of what happened doesn't mean-  
  
JESS: -Stop  
  
RORY: But.  
  
JESS: Don't say anything okay?  
  
RORY: Don't say anything? That's what you want?  
  
JESS: No. But it's for the best.  
  
RORY: Fine. Whatever. Be like that. I'll see you tonight.  
  
[JESS lowers his eyes slightly as RORY turns away looking upset and heads for the door. He looks up]  
  
JESS: Hey Rory  
  
[She turns to face him with her one hand on the doorknob, she opens the door]  
  
RORY: Yes?  
  
JESS: Someday, You'll Know.  
  
[Music starts to play, it's Michelle Branch's "Goodbye to You"]  
  
[RORY lulls the words over in her mind for a minute before nodding and leaving the diner silently.]  
  
Cut to. [.JESS shoving clothes, CDs, and books into an over-sized duffel bag. He zips it up and pauses for a moment, on the verge of tears he shakes his head and walks away]  
  
[RORY getting ready. She's dressed up and putting up her hair. She pauses and looks at a picture of JESS on her dresser]  
  
[JESS putting his stuff in the back of LUKE's truck, and then walking back inside the diner, then upstairs to the apartment, where LUKE is waiting. LUKE and JESS hug and while embracing JESS looks over LUKE's shoulder and focuses on a picture of RORY]  
  
[RORY walking down the main street of Stars Hollow. She sees LANE (who is wearing a cap and gown) and walks up to her giving her a hug]  
  
[JESS standing on the bridge. Close in on his face, he's closing his eyes and he shakes his head. A single tear rolls down his face and he walks away, in the opposite direction of SHH]  
  
[RORY looking around the crowd for a JESS' face, not spotting it she looks pained and walks over to LORELAI, and sits down]  
  
[JESS is in the truck and is driving. He sees a 'Now leaving Stars Hollow' sign and accelerates]  
  
[the graduation ceremony begins, and realizing that JESS isn't showing up RORY gets up and runs in the direction of the diner]  
  
[LUKE is putting chairs up on a table when RORY runs up and knocks wildly on the locked door. She searches his face and realizing what has happened she collapses on the steps outside the diner, and begins to cry]  
  
[JESS on the open road driving]  
  
[RORY is sitting on the steps crying, LUKE comes out and sits beside her, wrapping one arms around her shoulder.]  
  
[fade out with music.] 


	4. you're the one i need

Title: Someday We'll Know (inspired by the New Radicals song of the same name)  
  
Chapter: 4  
  
Author: Kate, a.k.a. katem-23  
  
Feedback: As always, it's thoroughly appreciated.  
  
Rating: PG-13.hehehe. =)  
  
Disclaimer: No, shockingly enough I do not own Gilmore Girls, or any of the characters on the show. It's just my take on what could, (and I say "could" not "will" or "I want") happen. Oh I also don't own the New Radicals song "someday We'll Know, and no I'm not smart enough to have come up with any of the brilliant quotes I use, although they'll probably get credited within the story so no worries about that. Oh, and I don't own the song "Goodbye to you" by Michelle Branch (who is the lit-song queen by the way).  
  
Spoilers: Um, to be safe I'm saying everything up until the end of Season 2. After that it's all made up.  
  
Author's Notes: I'm back! I'm sure this chapter was fairly long-awaited - bah, I wish! Lol. Sorry it took so long, I just hope it was worth the wait.I just want to let you know that you guys rock! I'm serious, you kick ass! I'm totally dedicating this chapter to all my reviewers. Yes, even you guys that are a pain in my ass always complaining about me. Lol. Ok, lets see if I can remember: Em, Alicia, Mijay, Kat, Hadar, Shiran, Stew Pid, mags, ahmee, and Christy - sorry if I forgot anyone!. Bah, this chapter isn't my best writing but I can't write well and accomplish stuff at the same time. This is basically an updating chapter, so you know what's been going on with them lately - in the past eight years -- I hope you enjoy.I just hope I don't screw up this story. Oh, and just to bring to the attention of the reader who was mildly offended by my crack at Canada - I'm canadian. It started out as a joke on FF and progressed from there. Sorry for anyone I may have offended.  
  
Summary: Back to the present which is 9 years ahead of where the show is now. This chapter is basically an update on the two protagonists.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[Rory]  
  
Looking back on it the last few years had seemed like a blur. A big messy blur mixed in with school, friends who were very often guys, yet seldom anything more than friends. My roommate thought that I was insane. I only lived on-campus for the first year. After that I just commuted from Stars Hollow.  
  
I went to Yale. I don't really remember exactly how it happened, it's not like Harvard didn't accept me, I just.wanted to be closer to home. Closer to Lane, my mom, Luke, my grandparents.the people who loved me. Besides, Jess had made me doubt my reasons for wanting to go to Harvard. There was never a doubt in my mind before him. Some people think that it's a bad thing, but I don't think that could be further from the truth.  
  
I don't think that I would have been happy at Harvard. I couldn't have a better time then I did when I went to Yale. It was amazing. And it looked really good on my résumé. So I guess that was one choice that turned out well.  
  
I actually just got my first job offer. I'm going to be a reporter for the 'New York Times'. It wasn't exactly what I wanted in high school, but it's what I want now. I just can't see being an overseas correspondent fitting me anymore. But an in-depth reporting job I can definitely handle. As a starting position of course. Eventually I plan on expanding, having a higher rank, maybe being in charge. Which is something I never thought I'd want, but it's amazing how things turn out.  
  
So, I obviously came home for a couple of weeks to see my mom, and Lane and Luke, and everyone else that I've missed so much, all those people who make small town life so enjoyable. I'm leaving tomorrow morning though. Work is calling me and I can't wait. I don't start for a week but I've got so many things still to do. Buy supplies, office clothes.finish fixing up my apartment.  
  
I'm excited to leave, but for some reason there's something pulling at me, telling me to stay here. Too bad I can't.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[Jess]  
  
It was fun I guess. Living out on the West Coast. Pepperdine was cool. Lots of parties, lots of drinking, lots of ways to drown your problems. It's not like I was an alcoholic, I might have been a little.out of control for a while. But I'm fine now. I Graduated from college and that is something. I'm not sure I would have made it through that first year without drinking. Knowing she was so far away, and having no control over what she was doing, and with who.  
  
So I graduated an English Major from Pepperdine in 2007. Then I got offered jobs working on the 'LA Times' and the 'New Yorker', I was overwhelmed. I'd been living in California for four years and I was starting to get sick of the perky people so I decided to move home. New York City, there I went.  
  
So I worked there for three years, it was just a small column. Nothing massive, I just gave some of my literary and musical views, basically I was a critic. I tried to open people's eyes so that they could see past their jaded views and see the raw talent and brilliance that lied beneath the surface of so many things.  
  
I'm not sure anyone really ever comprehended what I was trying to say. I'm sure a few really understood what I was writing. But not many. For the last year and a half of working at the paper I had a side project. I was writing my own book. But it had to be perfect. So I kept the job until I could no longer stand people pretending that they knew what I was talking about. Sometimes I hate people.  
  
So I quit after three years and spent the year and a half making it perfect. It took me another three months to find someone willing to publish it. I searched all over the city for the right place. I knew I had found it when I walked into the office and the secretary hung up on the person on the phone, grabbed the file I was holding and led the way to one of the executive's offices.  
  
It was published with a dedication. And like the rest of the book, in my opinion, it was perfect.  
  
"To the girl. I miss you."  
  
I'm sure she's read the book. I know Lorelai has, and Luke and her both have copies, so it's not like it wasn't readily available. I hope she has. Maybe I don't. I'm not sure I want her to know how badly I miss her. How badly she hurt me. But I hurt her right back so it doesn't really matter.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
She was amazed that her surroundings still blew her mind. She'd been here countless times before, yet every one was like its own experience. Looking around she continued her reminiscing until the distinct sound of a sheep interrupted her thoughts.  
  
She was confused and then reaching into her pocket came to the conclusion that her mother had gotten a hold of her cell phone and decided that a normal ring just wasn't 'fun' enough. She laughed to herself thinking about her mom. She was going to miss her mom. She broke that train of thought and lifted the phone to her ear  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Rory?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"It's Edward"  
  
"Edward! Hi, how's it going? Ok, I'm coming to the city tomorrow sometime in the morning.I've got my apartment all ready, it's set up and everything I've just got to move the basics. And I'm assuming that the meeting is still on Wednesday?"  
  
"That's what I'm calling you to talk about.there's been some mess-up with administration and they have to postpone your job. They very much still want you, they just need to sort out a problem first. So it looks like it'll be at least until September, but I'll keep you updated. I'm terribly sorry."  
  
"It.it's ok."  
  
"Look I know this sucks but I've worked out all the details and the newspaper is going to cover everything so don't worry. They'll pay for your apartment for the next two months, and you can even stay in Connecticut if you'd like.I'm sure you'd love to spend some more time with your mom."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"So do it! Spend the summer there, get to know your mom inside and out again - like you used to - and have some fun!"  
  
"Well.are you going to come visit?"  
  
"The moment I have a chance."  
  
"Okay then," a smile spread across her face "Then I'm staying. Call me and let me know when you're coming okay?"  
  
"Okay, oh and Rory - find a man, you're 26 it's time to get over him."  
  
"Whatever you say" she said shaking her head.  
  
"Bye"  
  
"bye"  
  
She listened for the barely audible sound of a phone being turned off dozens of kilometers away and took a deep breath. 'I am over him.' then thinking about her earlier thoughts she laughed at herself and rethought the statement 'I'll never be over him'. She looked once more around the area and water surrounding the bridge and took in the beauty that was Stars Hollow, smiling because she was allowed to stay.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
So here he was, in Stars Hollow, for an entire summer. 'What the hell am I going to do?' he asked himself.  
  
Write  
  
But what else? Writing didn't come easily anymore. There was a time when it had- a time when he let all of his pent-up feelings, frustrations, emotions and memories curse through his veins. Back when he had passion. Back before he ran out of emotion. The time when his thoughts flowed through him, out through his fingertips and onto the page. The words were sometimes typed out, sometimes blurred and written on napkins whenever a thought or memory surfaced to the edge of his mind. He would often be reading and have to search in desperation for the nearest thing because the words overflowed his mind. And then it stopped.  
  
After the book was finished. Once it was compiled and edited and published and out on the shelves it just stopped. His mind no longer raced, his heart no longer felt. The book held every ounce of emotion that he had ever retained within his body. He barely felt and he couldn't write. It was just.gone.  
  
The book wasn't autobiographical. On the surface it wasn't at least. It was classified somewhere between fiction and non-fiction and critics really didn't know what to say about it. The book would never have been published had Jess not been the person he was. He was patient while trying to find a publisher. He pushed his way into getting a meeting with one of the most important publishers in New York City and even after some of the biggest companies in the business turned him down on the spot, this one was different. He knew from the second he walked into James Copeland's office that he knew what he was talking about. He knew literature and he knew good writing. He looked Jess up and down and without speaking reached for the samples Jess was holding in his hands.  
  
As he scanned the page his eyes focused and he motioned for Jess to sit. After ten minutes of silence he placed the folder on the desk and looked up at Jess.  
  
"Is it done?" "Yes." "I want to read it - all of it. As soon as I can, is that ok?" ".I guess." "Good. Bring it in tomorrow okay?" "Sure." Jess got up and began to walk out of the office "Mr. Mariano?" Jess turned around "Call me Jess" "Sure, Jess, you're brilliant you know that right?" "I failed grade eleven English" "It doesn't surprise me." James laughed "I'll see you tomorrow" Jess nodded and then James added, "oh, by the way , congratulations, you're now a published writer"  
  
It was because of James that Jess' book had been as successful as it had. He saw past the rugged exterior wall that Jess put up and saw the man that he was underneath. They still talked often, in fact it was James' idea that Jess came to Stars Hollow for the summer. He needed Jess to write more, he knew that as a friend he needed it, and that he needed to get out of NYC and figure himself out.  
  
Jess looked around, losing his thought process. When he had first left the apartment for the night he had had no predetermined destination, he just followed his feet looking around at seemingly familiar surroundings. But now as he grew to recognize his surroundings he knew exactly where he was going. The bridge - their bridge.  
  
He heard a voice in the distance; saw the silhouette of a woman talking on the phone on the bridge. He was about to turn when he realized who it was. Realizing that she was there, and that he could see her.  
  
He stopped breathing.  
  
The words of her conversation were meaningless and petty in the moment and he blocked them out as he looked on from the outside. Beauty was emanating off of her, she seemed so happy. Happy to be in Stars Hollow.  
  
She closed her phone and put it back in her purse. He watched intently as her eyes meandered the vista. Jess couldn't decide between walking over to her or running away, so he just stood there - watching ; waiting. He couldn't decide if he wanted her to turn and see him or walk the other way.  
  
He was scared and he wasn't ready. His eyes didn't leave her as he turned around, and it wasn't until he started walking that he finally averted them. He stopped. He willed himself to go on but he couldn't manage to do it. It was becoming a task to place one foot in front of the other. 'At least she can't see me anymore' he thought to himself as he hid in the shadows and continued to watch her.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
He was there. She knew it. She could feel him looking at her.  
  
She wasn't ready for this. Not yet at least, but she turned to face him anyway. He wasn't in her view and he was glad.  
  
But he was still there. And his eyes were on nothing but her.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Lorelai checked the back deck of the inn. Still no sign of Rory, 'I wonder where she is', she sighed to herself. She was going to miss her - a lot. She had gotten used to having her around even though it had only been a short while. And New York was a lot further away than Yale. She was just going to have to learn to deal. She saw a shadow cross the lawn and up the steps. Rory had a look of concentration on her face and Lorelai was puzzled by it.  
  
"Rory?"  
  
Rory snapped out of her daze, "uh, yeah?"  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
Rory hesitated before speaking up, "I saw him."  
  
"Who?" Lorelai knew exactly who she meant but she needed the confirmation and she felt that this moment deserved added seriousness.  
  
"Jess"  
  
"I figured. I just hoped that you wouldn't run into him."  
  
"You knew he was here?" Rory asked turning towards her mom  
  
"mm-hm"  
  
Rory skipped a beat and then decided to pry "How long is he staying?"  
  
"uh." Lorelai didn't really want Rory to know that he was staying the entire summer, "just for the weekend."  
  
"Oh." Rory's voice was drained of emotion, she didn't really know what to think, or how to act.  
  
After a moments silence Lorelai spoke up "Did you talk?"  
  
"No. I didn't actually see him.I just.felt him."  
  
"You felt him?"  
  
"His presence"  
  
"Oh.like in one of those horror movies where the heroine can 'sense' the killer so she starts to run and then he pops out of nowhere and you're like 'whoa, how'd she know that?!'?"  
  
".I guess.only to my knowledge Jess has never killed anyone."  
  
"So.initial reaction?"  
  
"I stopped breathing. My heart was beating so loud I swear I could hear it.it was.different than I expected."  
  
"How did you expect it to be?"  
  
"I don't really know.I mean." Lorelai waited for her to continue, "I know I missed him , it's just.wow.I never knew how much."  
  
"So you wish you had talked to him?"  
  
"What would I say? What could I say? I've been going over it for eight years and I've still come up with nothing. There's just so much."  
  
"So much?"  
  
"Pain, confusion, angst.regret"  
  
"right."  
  
".there were things I never told you" Lorelai waited for her to continue again, "actually there was a lot I never told you."  
  
"Such as? You told me that you had a pseudo relationship behind the scenes that was based on more then a physical attraction. It was based on intellectual and emotional levels too. That's about all you ever shared with me.I mean god, what else could there possibly be?" Lorelai said sarcastically.  
  
"We slept together."  
  
Lorelai's jaw hit the floor and her eyes went so wide Rory was scared that they would never go back, "Sorry, say that again, mommy's hearing things."  
  
Rory shifted uncomfortably, "We made love"  
  
Lorelai looked at her daughter with disbelief, "when?" she said exasperated  
  
"the night before he left."  
  
"oh.wow.and then he.I'm going to kill him."  
  
"no mom, don't. He did it for me, he left for me. I mean, he also did it for himself, to save himself from getting hurt, but mostly he did it for me. Trust me, there's no need to kill him."  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"I'm saying I've never once regretted having sex with Jess."  
  
"Well.then I'm happy for you." They both smiled at each other before Rory spoke up again.  
  
"So I guess I'll just avoid him or something for the weekend? Hide out here at the inn maybe? Or is this where he's staying?"  
  
"What do you mean babe? You're leaving tomorrow."  
  
"Oh, right! I forgot to tell you!"  
  
".the paper that was to employ you went bankrupt after realizing that trees actually do produce oxygen?"  
  
"No. but my job did get postponed."  
  
"Until when?"  
  
"September"  
  
Lorelai's eyes widened, "so you're staying here?"  
  
"Yeah, the paper actually offered to cover everything and then allowed for me to stay here. It's pretty crazy actually."  
  
"Wow, hun, that's amazing. Uh.I have to go talk to Luke but I'll see you in a little while okay?"  
  
"Definitely"  
  
"Oh.and no, he's not staying here, so grab whatever room is free and feel free to raid the kitchen."  
  
"Thanks mom."  
  
"Not a problem." Lorelai smiled and took off leaving a slightly confused Rory behind to gather her thoughts, and devise a plan.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Luke we have a problem" Lorelai had just torn through the main room of the inn looking for him and as soon as she spotted him made a mad dash in his direction.  
  
"As long as it doesn't include Jess it's fine."  
  
"Its not fine."  
  
"What now? What happened?" Luke said finally turning his attention towards Lorelai  
  
"Nothing much, just Rory is staying for the rest of the summer."  
  
Luke processed the thought and his jaw dropped, "Rory.Jess.small town." Lorelai shook her head along with him as he continued to process the information. "Not good."  
  
"No. Not good. Not good at all. This is going to be like an episode of 'Reunion' only worse, because there will be spectators all around, like Taylor and Miss Patty, and oy.and Kirk."  
  
"I'll talk to Jess.I'll get him to leave or something."  
  
"No, Luke, Jess shouldn't be the one to leave.but I couldn't stand letting Rory leave either.can't we have both of them?"  
  
"How? I mean, I'd love it if they could just forget about the past, but there's too much history there for us to just pretend nothing ever happened."  
  
"I know, well, we have the weekend to come up with a plan. Rory knows he's here but she thinks he leaves Monday morning."  
  
"Huh. Okay, well I'll go talk to him. We'll figure something out, just keep her away from the diner and as much as possible the house. Okay?"  
  
"Okay. I'll see you later?"  
  
He smiled warmly and then leaned in to kiss her cheek, "count on it."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Jess was sitting on his laptop typing when Luke walked into the apartment.  
  
"Thanks for knocking."  
  
"Rent free for Two months is a pretty sweet deal Jess."  
  
"Yeah.well."  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
"I saw her."  
  
"You what?"  
  
"She didn't see me.I don't think she did at least. I'm pretty sure she knew I was there though. I didn't expect to see her tonight, I mean, you told me she'd be in Stars Hollow until tomorrow morning but."  
  
"You have to leave"  
  
"I'm sorry?"  
  
Luke looked at the stunned expression on his nephew's face, then to the laptop sitting on the refinished desk and scanned the screen. Jess had written forty pages.  
  
"You write all that tonight?"  
  
"Oh.uh, yeah. Since I got back from my walk."  
  
"Forget about what I said. You're staying here."  
  
Luke left the apartment as quickly as he entered, leaving behind a confused Jess who shook his head and returned to the computer screen, typing as furiously as he had been for the past hour.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
a/N 2: Sorry if it sucked. But I tried. =) 


	5. i believe that i

**Title: **Someday We'll Know  
**Chapter:** Five.  
**Author: **Me! Kate, Kait, k8, katem_23, kiss_me_k8 (on FF),...choose the one you prefer, because i could care less what the hell you call me.   
  
**Disclaimer: **Nope, don't own it, probably never will, although everybody can dream right?   
  
**Rating: **Pg-13  
  
**Author's Notes: **Oh wow, you guys totally overwhelmed me with reviews! You kick ace! whew, there's no doubt about my following that's for sure. I hope you guys didn't lose your faith in me because I took that nice, long sabbatical. I needed time to focus on other stuff - namely school. I can't promise that I'll be consistant, but I'll try to keep chapters coming...there wont be another break like this last one, I promise. I love you all and I really hope you all enjoy it. Oh, and yet again i'm sorry if it sucks, i was having trouble writing lengthy pieces for each character.   
  
**Dedication: **To **Jewls13**, because you didn't know if I remembered you, when you were probably the single most influential writer I've ever read, or conversed with. You've helped countless novice (and even not-so-new) writers on this site, and god knows how far you're going to go or where, but I think we all know you're going to do something amazing. You made me believe in myself, and made me analyze what I was doing so that I could bring myself to a whole new level. You taught me one of the most important things a writer can ever know. And I thank you.   
And to **kat**, because you are my unbiased advisor, and you always let me read your fic before anybody else, and also because i promised that i'd co-dedicate this chapter to you.   
  
**Summary: **This chapter follows where the previous left off, includes flashbacks, with details possibly left out of chapter 3. _ITALICS signify flashbacks._ Enjoy! :)  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Jess leaned back and sighed, he had been writing all night and it was to the point where the sun was making it's way back up to the horizon. He peered out the window, okay so it _was_ up to the horizon. It cast an orange glow that cut across the vacant, blue sky, and for a moment he paused.   
  
He thought about the moment he held Rory in his arms as they watched the sun rise. The way that every time she exhaled her breath left her lips and condensed in mid-air and he wanted to capture it, because that air had been a part of her; The rise and fall of her chest as she clung to him, early that morning; Their lips inches apart, as they discussed allegory of Catch 22. Their had been a kiss that morning, he remembered. It had been extended, not the longest, yet prolonged in length for them. It was gentle at first, she had been slightly hesitant, but then pushing, as if trying to burn the memory of that moment - of him - into her mind. The sun rose; they entered the bad discussion; the moment shattered.   
  
Jess didn't like thinking about it, but here, in Stars Hollow in was an inescapable burden. He could go over to the house in a few hours, maybe it would still smell of her.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Rory rolled out of bed and checked the clock on the wall. 5:23, she sighed, and put a sweater on overtop of her tank top. She slowly made her way down the stairs, careful not to wake anyone else on the floor, and crossed the room to the kitchen. She needed food - she needed Sookie-food, and she needed coffee. She hadn't slept all night and it was going to be a long day filled with avoidance.   
  
Walking over to the coffee maker she began remembering things- Jess things. She poured herself a cup of the dark, rich liquid and looked out into the night - or morning, rather. She thought about the sun rise and the morning they had spent together on the bridge. She remembered when he had shown up at four in the morning and looked up at her with expectancy, he never expected much of her, but somehow she knew that morning was different. He needed her to come, and so she had.   
  
It was several of those moments where you want to stop time, all strung together. Lying in his arms, feeling his heartbeat pulse through her, and feeling his body next to her, just lying there. She had felt complete there. Then a fight broke the moment, and the memory faded.  
  
It was my fault I guess' she sighed inwardly, it was always my fault. He just would never let me believe that'. Picking up her cup of coffee she ran back upstairs to change, she was going for a walk.   
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Downstairs, the diner had been open and the few who had to work early were sipping their morning drinks, and slowly eating their food. Jess exhaled, he had given Luke the morning off, since he was already awake and the rapture in his head was preventing him from sleep.   
  
The lull in the diner allowed Jess to be left alone with his thoughts...and then his mind wandered to another memory of the girl. He shook it off, he didn't want to remember the way her hands fit into his perfectly...or the way when she looked at him his eyes stung, but he couldn't bear to look away because the connection between them was too strong. They were locked together without touching.  
  
His thoughts travelled back to what he was doing when an exhausted looking Taylor walked in the door. Jess' eyes shot back and forth, as if looking for an escape but realizing that he had none, he grabbed the pot of coffee from behind himself, and went around refilling people's cups as to look preoccupied.  
  
Young man, can I talk to you for just one second? Taylor's voice was still slightly booming, but a few decibals quieter than Jess remembered.  
Sure Taylor, what can I get ya? He asked, he wasn't in the mood for a confrontation, especially when he was running on this little sleep.   
You wouldn't happen to know anything about the sign up on my door would you? The one reading Dooses market will be closed indefinitely due to tax evasion.'?  
Jess pushed back the urge to fall on the floor laughing. Tax evasion? Taylor? Man, whoever had done this one had really thought it out. Suddenly a thought crossed his mind, and he tried to shake it off. It's impossible', he smirked a little, Sorry Taylor, I can't help you, I just got back last night, and apart from taking a short walk, I was in the apartment all night.  
Taylor furrowed his brow, huffed and walked out of the diner. That was too easy' Jess thought, but then went back to his previous thought process of who was responsible for the sign, and laughed for the first time in a long time.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, Rory could see Taylor walking quickly towards the diner, curious as to what was going on she slowly made her way to the diner. She rapidly realized what she was doing and veered away from the building, heading instead for the bridge. At least there she could get some reading done.   
  
She sat down, ready to watch the sun rise and read Franny and Zooey. Closing her eyes, she tried to envision the moment, the way he looked when she leaned back and she kissed him.   
  
_His hair was soft, and as she ran her hands through it, she tried to grip as much as she could, trying to hold on. She pulled away and looked deeply into his eyes; scanning his soul; feeding off his emotions. She pulled him close again, and pressed their lips together, burning his taste into the back of her mind. Fog produced from their breath surrounded them in the crisp air, and the books were soon forgotten . His hand unconsciously passed over her thigh and a moan escaped her lips.   
  
_Lost in the memory, Rory let a soft moan escape her lips,, only coming out of the daydream when the sound hit her ears. Her eyes opened abruptly and darted around to see if there had been anyone in the viscinity. Seeing that she was clear, she smiled and went back to the daydream.  
  
A few hours later she stood and began walking towards what used to be her home.  
  
~*~*~*~  
Caesar arrived at 9:30 and Jess decided it was about time that he could head over to the Danes residence. Luke and Lorelai had lived together for a year before getting married - and the only real reason they had done that was because they wanted to have kids.   
  
He was now seven and he had straight, pitch black hair that was nearly always hidden under a baseball cap. They had named him Scott for some absurd reason of Lorelai's and something about people names Scott always being good-looking. She had been fairly heavily drugged when she came up with that one as well. It had taken Luke half an hour to talk her out of naming him Lorelai the fourth.   
  
Jess scoffed at the memory. Lorelai was an insane woman, but she was someone who had grown on her over the years. They had worked out their differences for the most part and now were just beginning to get along. She now actually formed sentences before passing the phone to Luke.  
  
Hey, it was more than a grunt after all.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Rory entered the house and smiled when she heard Luke rumaging through a drawer in the kitchen. She walked into the room and was surprised when a aghast Luke met her eyes, she asked questioning the aberrant expression.   
You're here. he stated. Rory simply nodded and gestured with her hands for him to continue. You can't be here now. he was beginning to act flustered and Rory suddenly knew the problem.  
She smiled internally, He's coming over isn't he?  
Luke's eyes shifted uncontrollably, yes, and soon.  
I'll just leave then. she began to walk away and Luke grabbed her arm.   
He's always been just as broken as you have, what happened between you two...he regretted just as much as you did.  
Rory was frozen in thought for a few moments before she answered, No Luke. It isn't possible to regret anything that much. she turned on her heel and left the house.  
  
Luke just sighed. You'd be surprised he mumbled under his breath.   
  
Instances later he heard a firm knock on the back door. Luke quickly turned to hurry and let Jess in. The longer he stood outside the more of a chance there was he would see the Gilmore exiting from the front door.  
  
He opened the back door and bustled Jess inside. How's it going? he asked, his face stoic trying not to show the emotion he was feeling.   
his tone wasn't questioning, but his eyes were.  
  
What's going on? he looked skeptically at his uncle.  
Luke forced a smile.  
Well first of all, you are smiling not grunting, and secondly, I don't remember you looking this flustered since before you and Lorelai began dating.  
It's...it's nothing Jess don't worry about it.  
Right, got it. Jess walked over to a chair ready to interrogate his uncle. Who just left?  
Luke's eyes widened,   
Someone just left this house, and since you didn't go outside my guess is that it wasn't Lorelai and Rory leaving for the city.  
Luke avoided making eye contact for nearly a minute,  
  
He hesitated, but knew that it would come out eventually, She's here Jess.   
He looked puzzled, then realization dawned upon him. For how long?  
The whole summer.  
Jess inhaled and held the breath for several seconds.   
  
Yep, no problem.  
Luke looked at his nephew stunned. How is this okay?  
When I saw her last night...Luke, I could barely- I can't...I miss her. Luke just stared at the man that the angst-filled teenager had turned into. He still had comunication issues, but he had come a long way from the monosyllabic disaster that had arrived in Stars Hollow almost ten years prior. I loved her...I still do. I could never let go of that. I just need to talk to her...or something.  
You're sure you can do that? Luke was still surprised to this day at the relationship that had evolved from the one they had when Jess was a teenager. He opened up a lot now, and Luke couldn't remember when the change occured.  
It's been 8 years, Luke. It's not all I ever think about, but it's pretty close.  
I know. Luke paused, It would be good for you...both of you.  
Jess nodded and smiled, You should have seen what Taylor was doing out on the street today...  
Let's hear it, Luke smiled back and sat down.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
She had formulated a plan. She needed to see him, but she didn't know if the feeling was mutual...actually, she didn't know if he knew that she was there but that was irrelevant. If they were meant to see each other again, they would.   
  
She would go to the bridge tomorrow night, right before he left Stars Hollow. It was their spot, and if he still remembered her - which she was nearly positive he did - he would come. He would stop there to reminisce, and she would be there.  
  
What Rory had not yet decided was what she was going to say to him. Or how.   
  
~*~*~*~  
  
His eyes hurt from staring at the screen. It had been a long night and it was three in the morning. For some reason being back in Stars Hollow fueled his mind. At night, his passion was ignited again and he sat and wrote. He barely had time to use proper punctuation before he would type voraciously again, another thought pushing it's way out of his mind.  
  
Jess' thoughts subsided for the moment and he thought about Rory, and the fact that they were both in Stars Hollow for the summer. He wondered if she would want to see him, Luke said she might, but for all Jess knew she hated him.  
  
He would find out tomorrow night. He didn't have the courage to do it during the day. And unless she had the guts to walk into the diner tomorrow, he doubted they'd run into each other before then.   
  
His mind searched for a place, and the bridge seemed like the logical answer. Their spot. It was all very clichéd, but it would work. Actually, it would be perfect. 


	6. would cry just a little

**Title: **Someday We'll Know  
**Chapter:** Six.  
**Author: **kait.  
**Disclaimer: **Nope, don't own it, probably never will, although everybody can dream right?   
**Author's Notes: **Yes, I know I promised that I would be updating more often, I suck. It's fine, all this I know.**  
  
**Special and massive thanks to **Hadar** and to **Kat**, without them, this fic would never be continued. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I'm not going to tell you when the ending is, but this really wont be too much longer. A lot happens in this chapter...I guess I was getting sick of procrastinating it... take it as is, if you hate it, i'm sorry.   
  
oh, and don't forget to review, eh? This is after all the chapter you've all been waiting for. And since i'm really not sure how i feel about this fanfiction anymore, i'm slightly curious about what you guys think. Remember that this fic has it's own history, completely different from what happened on the show!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The pond looked beautiful during dusk. It was at it's prettiest when the lights illuminated the surrounding area just enough to cast a faint glow upon the water. At this time, the sun was just below the line of the horizon and it's final rays looked as if they'd been ignited by a match. They were the colours of fire.   
  
Rory could barely contain her breath as she watched her surroundings convert from the peaceful late afternoon to something so beautiful that it was almost tragic it had to end.   
  
But she was kidding herself by trying to pretend that she had come for the scenery.   
  
She was here to see if he would come. The boy that had captured her thoughts since he first walked into the small Conneticut town when she was seventeen. The boy who had infected her brain and taught her so many things about living life your way. The boy who had turned her life upside down and made her life both a nightmare and a fantasy for the two years they were friends. And more than friends.   
  
Footsteps echoed on the wood and Rory inhaled before looking in the direction of the sound. It was just a girl. A plain looking girl who caught Rory's eye, looked down and preceeded to rush past her, across the bridge.   
  
Rory looked back out at the vista, then down into the darkening water. Her blue eyes reflected back up at her; mirrored through the navy depth. She sighed and as dark figure sat down beside her, her breath caught in her throat.  
  
The two sat in silence for an undeterminable length of time before either one dared to move. Jess lifted his arm from where it had come to rest behind him to right beside Rory's hand on the wooden bridge. It was then that she noticed that he had been staring intently at her for a long time.   
  
So she looked back at him.   
  
The feeling of looking at someone that you haven't seen in eight years; someone you loved that intensely...it's almost indescribable. There's a surge of all sorts of different emotions. A few unexpected ones- anger, joy, complete distraught. The previous mixed with excitement, sadness, and a few unnamed ones all came pouring out of both sets of eyes. In the future when either would think about the moment they would only be able to describe it with one word - surreal.  
He spoke first,   
It was as timid as she had been when she first started Chilton.   
  
It was at this point where she suddenly realized she couldn't tell what he was thinking once again.   
  
Another moment passed. Their thoughts were erratic. He cleared his throat. How have you been?  
They were still staring into each other's eyes. Tears started forming in the corner of her eyes, he reached up and stroked one away before it could fall from it's place on the bottom rim of her eyelid.  
  
It's going to be okay you know, He told her.  
She smiled a sad smile, and how do you know that?  
Because we're past the hardest part.  
Which would be? she look confused.  
Seeing each other again. Being together.  
She had to hold herself back from making the adolescent action of rolling her eyes. If you think that's the hardest part, you're seriously mistaken.  
I didn't forget you did I?  
She looked away and then stopped. Her heart stopped, actually. How had he...  
Did you think I ever could?  
She looked back at him, wonderment teasing every feature she possessed.  
He stood up. I'll see you around.  
Rory waited until he was almost back onto solid ground before she turned around and called after him. So what? You're leaving me for good this time? The bitterness in her voice was hitting a fever pitch.  
He turned back, I'll never leave you for good Gilmore. Always remember that.  
  
And then he was gone. She hated how good he was at randomly disappearing. Then the tears began to fall as she remembered that he was leaving for the city. That had been her last chance, and now it was gone.  
  
She clenched her jaw and tapped her index finger on the bridge. A stab of sharpness was felt in the finger and she was forced to look down at her left hand. It was bare as it had always been. Twenty-six years old and she had nothing to show for her personal life other than the friendship of a thirty-nine year old widower and a computer. Nice life. Althougn, she had her mother, and they were still extremely close.  
  
Come to think of it there really was only one thing that she had never shared with her mother. The reasons why she had kept the one secret from her mother were endless. First, she'd freak out. Second, she'd freak out. The secret wasn't anything important. It was just Jess. Although for a long time Jess had been the most important part of her life.   
  
The single person her thoughts revolved around.   
  
But that was all Rory had really ever done. Thought about things. She never came to any conclusions on her own; never made any decisions of her own. She just let things happen. Let other people decide her fate.  
  
And she wasn't going to do that anymore. She was going to do something for herself. She was going to go after the one thing she had always wanted, even if it didn't work out, at least she would have tried.   
  
She stood up and stormed in the direction of where Jess had just disappeared to. It wasn't fair to her, and she had pretty much made up her mind about what was about to happen - whether it was the right decision or not, she had been waiting too long. She had been thinking about him for too long.   
  
It was time. She was ready, once again.   
  
She reached the diner and was about to start pounding on the door when she realized that it was still unlocked. Her forehead creased and she pushed the door open, her eyes searching everywhere while she slowly entered. She never thought she would get to the point where she was this tense upon entrance ever again.   
  
But it had. And suddenly, she was eighteen and sneaking upstairs again to see the boy she loved but made her too scared to tell anyone about it.   
  
What was suddenly with all this love stuff. Okay, so now she was back to her twenty-six year-old self, she didn't like thinking about how quickly she was getting older. She hated thinking about how she had really not done anything exciting with her life in forever...or maybe just ever. She hated that she had regrets, because there was a time in her life where she didn't believe in them.   
  
Now she was climbing the steps, her hand tracing a pattern on the banister, trying to hold her back, slow her down. Her fingers left the wood of the railing and reached forward towards the door. Instead of forming a fist they spread out and she spent a moment looking at the delicate and pale skin that covered her hand. Just as she was turning it around to admire her palm she heard movement inside and before she could control the impulse she had knocked twice, firmly on the door.   
  
Shit. Now there were footsteps and she had reached the point where backing up would lead her into nothing but a wall. It opened, and Jess was there, she could tell he was trying to hide the tiny hint of hope that shot through his eyes, but he didn't do a good enough job of it as she could still tell. She could see hope in him, even when he couldn't.  
  
You're not being fair. she stated dramatically.  
Life's not fair. he said with a twitch of his eyebrows, she pushed passed him into the apartment.  
Don't treat me like a child.  
Sorry, how would you like to be treated?  
Why are you being a jerk? You're the one who - she stopped, then continued, You're the one who left.  
When? At the bridge?   
Always. Is running your thing or something? Or maybe it's just me. she said, turning around to face him.   
Just you what? he said, visibly swallowing, somehow Rory had gone from barely uttering a word to reeming him out. For once Jess wasn't the dominant one and he wasn't the agressor.   
  
It was a strange feeling.  
  
Just me that you're running away from.   
I never wanted to hurt you so I left before I got a chance.   
She looked at him exasperatedly, And you didn't think that that would hurt me?  
He walked around her and slumped into a chair. It would have hurt you more the longer I stuck around.  
You could have made me happy.  
He rolled his eyes, You didn't want me to be happy. Or are you forgetting your little comingt out' problem? God, it's not like you were announcing your love for a transvesite. Just me, I had no idea I was such a thing to be hidden from the world.  
You weren't...I was scared. I learnt my lesson.  
I guess you got the point then. he said with resignment. All is forgiven.  
She smirked, I don't know if that's completely fair. Now I feel inclined to let you off the hook.  
Well is there some incentive to make you forgive me sooner? He sighed. I've missed you Rory Gilmore.  
There are definitely some things I've missed about you too.  
  
He motioned for her to sit, Like what, may I ask?  
Your hair. Your eyes. Your company. No one else can sit on the bridge as well as you.  
Oh, is that it?  
Well I would say your kisses, but I wouldn't want to put you on the spot and you haven't completely made up for leaving me yet.   
  
Oh? Well hmm, let me think. Would this make it up to you? He asked rising from his chair and clearing the distance between them in a single stride, bending down and bringing his lips inches from hers, his eyes gazing into the depths of hers, begging for permission to bring his lips just that much closer.  
  
she moaned, Don't make me have to say stop.  
So don't say it. he murmured back, focusing on her eyes. He dipped in, brushing his lips upon hers and she closed her eyes for a split second, until they shot open and she pushed him back.  
  
He smiled, Same old Rory.  
She rolled her eyes, Thank you. After all it's not like this is moving fast or anything.  
  
I mean, when was the last time I saw you? Eight years ago? Right. In the diner, the morning after we had sex. she watched his eyes widened, Come on, you couldn't possibly think I would forget that could you?  
No. But a small part of me really wishes you had.  
  
Because that was the night that I ruined perfect and innocent Rory Gilmore, Princess of Stars Hollow.  
It was the last time I can remember feeling perfectly whole.  
  
His face scrunched at this comment. Do you have a boyfriend?  
she said with a small smile.  
He sighed in frustration.   
His name is Edward.  
he rolled his eyes. Sounds like a -  
She cut him off -He's gay.  
His eyes flicked up to meet hers. You bitch.  
You'll like me this way.  
Let's not talk about that now.  
She looked at him innocently, And what, pray tell, shall we talk about.  
  
He leaned back over her and pushed his lips to hers, sealing them together. He parted her lips and intensified the feeling, bringing her with him as he stood up. He backed towards the bed that was against the far wall.  
  
Too fast?  
If you make me think about this, you wont like the consequences.  
He replaced his lips and she helped him pull his shirt over his head.  
  
They crashed onto the mattress and he reached behind her back, pulling down the zipper of her dress, kissing her shoulder as the skin became visible. Following the fabric down her body, laying kisses on the newly exposed skin.   
  
The dress now removed he had an chance to survey the body of the woman laying beneath him. And she was a woman, looking up at him with her hair laying in a delicate mess around her head, and her now matured body that she finally completely looked perfect in. He leaned in for a kiss and her hands wandered to the waist of his pants, pulling at his belt buckle, and then tugging them down over his thighs. He assisted her by kicking his shoes off his feet and pulling his pants the rest of the way over his feet. He looked back up at her and noticed that her eyes were dancing over his body.   
  
She quickly grabbed for his boxer-briefs and all hope of turning back was lost. They connected in another kiss, and their bodies searched to complete themselves.   
  
*  
  
  
a/n: ...fade to black. hey, i can't **always** be indecent.   
Review! Please! It won't kill you. :)


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